just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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