He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
