Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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