I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
