It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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