I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
