thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Randomize
