Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Randomize
