So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
