I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
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