i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
