Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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