And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
