VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
