Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
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