I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
