so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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