Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
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