My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
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