Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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