who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
