Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
