you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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