I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
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