Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
