I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
