It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
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