Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
She bit a glass in half.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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