puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
