You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
