$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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