I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Randomize
