You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
