bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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