Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
farters have to be the big spoon...
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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