He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize