Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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