What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize