Sponge bath it is.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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