She said her name was "party"
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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