I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
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