I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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