Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
