Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
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