Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
