all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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