his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize