There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
