Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Randomize
