Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
