I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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