I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
