My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
