i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Randomize
