I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
