My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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