i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Randomize
