You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize
