its not stalking. its research.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Randomize