Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
