Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Randomize
