think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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