3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize
