I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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