Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
