pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
where are you?
Hypothermia
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
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