A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
My legs feel like baby dolphins
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
