you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I showed him my bush... on skype.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
