he shaved USA in his pubs
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
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