I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
i think im in europe. pls send help
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
